See this cat. We used to know this cat. His name was Patsy (what does that tell you, huh?). He lived with some friends of ours. He's the only cat I've ever been near. Let me tell you, he was a totally useless cat. He never ran. Didn't understand the game of chase the cat. It didn't matter how many times I gave him the scottie nudge (you know, that's when you run up, nudge hard with your nose, jump back and bark) he never ran. He'd just show his teeth and hiss, but not move.
Sometimes when we visited his house, he'd get in our car and sleep on our seat. Even when we charged into the car and stood over him. He would get up and move in.... slow..... motion out the door. Boy, he was infuriating. Is that a useless cat, or what?
PS He disappeared one night. Never found a trace. Maybe he got into one car too many.